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Hockey Songs

THE HOKEY GOALIE

(To the tune of "The Hokey Pokey")

You stick your glove hand out
You wave your stick about
You spread your legs apart
And you flop like a big trout
You do the hokey goalie
And you cry and whine and pout
That's what it's all about
YOU SUCK!


THE LUMBERJACK SONG

(From Monty Python's Flying Circus)

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day

GROUP: He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He works all night and he sleeps all day

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lava-tree
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scons for tea

GROUP: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch
He goes to the lava-tree
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scons for tea

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on womens' clothing
And hang around in bars

GROUP: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around…in bars???!!!

I chop down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear PaPa

GROUP: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies and a bra???!!!
He wants to be a girlie….???!!
(spoken) And we thought you were so rugged. You poofda!


ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE

(From "Monty Python's "Life Of Brian")

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best

CHORUS #1:
And always look on the bright side of life
(whistle: whe-whoo, whe-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo)
Always look on the light side of life
(whistle: whe-whoo, whe-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo)

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing

CHORUS #1

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow

CHORUS #2
So always look on the bright side of death
(whistle: whe-whoo, whe-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo)
Just before you draw your terminal breath
(whistle: whe-whoo, whe-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo)

Life's a piece of poop
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

CHORUS #1


DING-DONG, WE HIT THE POST

(To the tune of "Ding-Dong, The Witch Is Dead" from "The Wizard of Oz")

Ding-Dong, we hit the post
Stupid post, we hit the post
Ding-Dong, we hit the post again!

Oh No! It stopped a goal
Ring it high, ring it low
Ding-Dong, we hit the post again!

CHORUS:
The shot passed the goalie's hole
Below, below, below
Oh No! We heard that awful ring
So ring the pipes now

Ding-Dong, we hit the post
Stupid post, we hit the post
Ding-Dong, we hit the post again!


BOOM BOOM, OUT GO THE LIGHTS

(based on the old R&B classic made famous by Pat Travers)

No kiddin'
The Preds are ready to fight!
If they get 'em in their sights
Boom! Boom!
OUT GO THE LIGHTS!

No kiddin'
The Preds are ready to go!
If they find that guy, don't ya know
Boom! Boom!
OUT GO THE LIGHTS!


CAN THESE LOSERS PLAY IN SAN JOSE?

(To the tune of "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?")

Can these losers play in San Jose?
These sharks have no teeth
And their teal and black fins are bent sideways

Doesn't their team look gay in San Jose?
They don't really skate as much
As they swish, prance, and sashay

How's their goalie play in San Jose?
Like a bull fighter he waves
At the puck, we say "Ole!"

What tastes good with fish in San Jose?
The Preds recommend white wine
Steamed veggies and shark pate

Do they like to pray in San Jose?
They better learn quickly
The Preds will take their lives today

Can they win? Now way in San Jose!
The silicon valley
Is both micro and soft by the bay


DING-DONG, THE WINGS ARE DEAD

(To the tune of "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead" from "The Wizard of Oz")

Ding-Dong, the Wings are dead
Wicked Wings, the Wings are dead
Ding-Dong, the wicked Wings are dead!

Hi-Ho, the merri-o
Sing it high, 'cause they sure blow
Ding-Dong, the wicked Wings are dead

CHORUS:
They've gone where the losers go
Below, below, below
You ho! Let's open up and sing
And ring the bells now

Ding-Dong, the Wings are dead
Wicked Wings, the Wings are dead
Ding-Dong, the wicked Wings are dead!


I LIKE IT I LOVE IT (PREDATORS VERSION)

(To the tune of “I Like It, I love It, I want Some More Of It” by Tim McGraw)

Spent forty-eight dollars last night at the GEC
Nearly hoarsed out my voice but it really didn't matter to me
They got me yelling Smashville for everyone to hear
I've watched the Preds play ev'ry game this year
I'm gonna get fired if I don't get some sleep
Me and all my buddies are a-getting in too deep

Coz I like it, I love it, I want some more of it
I try so hard, I can not rise above it
Don't know what it is about the Predators scoring
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it

Hockey in the winter used to never appeal to me
Then I found out just how fun kickin' ice could be
They got me doing fang fingers and chanting 'bout sieves
Haven't had as much fun as long as I've lived
Of all of my desires, I have this only wish
I pray that it keeps going on like this

Coz I like it, I love it, I want some more of it
I try so hard, I can not rise above it
Don't know what it is about the Predators scoring
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it

And my girl is hooked, worked up
When she saw the Preds on TV
She jumps up from the sofa
She's a real hockey tonker
She can't get enough, you see

And I like it, I love it, I want some more of it
I try so hard, I can not rise above it
Don't know what it is about the Predators scoring
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it


I LIKE IT I LOVE IT (Version 2)

Spent 48 dollars last night at the G-E-C
Hollered out my lungs on Goal number 3
They got to be playing Leg-GY, Hartsy, and Koun in his gear
I ain’t missed a Preds game all year
They’re gonna get fired up in Three OH Three
All my buddies are yellin loud at the Goalie

But I like it I love it I want some more of It
I try so hard
I can’t rise above it
Don’t know what it is about the Predators Scorin’
But I like it I love it I want some more of it

My mama and daddy tough me courtesy
But I seem to forget it when we play the dead thingies
I’m down at Wolfy’s before they open up the Doors
Were looking for Gnash when Walker scores
We’re crossing our fingers
And countin’ every goal
Prayin’ that we get better you know

Cause I like it I love it I want some more of It
I try so hard
I can’t rise above it
Don’t know what it is about the Predators Scorin’
But I like it I love it I want some more of it

Forgot to wash my Truck
I’m stayin’ up
There’s a west coast game on TV
Then I sit down on the sofa
The games gettin’ closer
Then we beat the ‘Nucks 5 to 3

Yeah, I like it I love it I want some more of It
I try so hard
I can’t rise above it
Don’t know what it is about the Predators Scorin’
But I like it I love it I want some more of it

Hey!! Who's the 3 stars tonight?


THE BLACK HOLES SONG

(To the melody of the Oscar Mayer Bologna song by the little boy)

These losers have a first name
It's B-L-A-C-K
These losers have a second name
It's H-O-L-E-S
They blow their games in every way
And if you ask their fans they'll say
The Chicago Black Holes have a way
With S-U-C-K-I-N-G


SAN JOSE SUCKS

(to the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”)

San Jose, San Jose, San Jose sucks
Nolan’s a big jerk, Selanne’s bad luck
Ricci’s butt-ugly, and Marchment’s a schmuck
That’s why San Jose,
That’s whySan Jose,
That’s why San Jose sucks!


SAN JOSE IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

(to the tune of “Santa Clause Is Comin’ to Town”)

Oh, they’re tryin’ their luck
To bury the puck
But everyone in Nashville knows that they suck
San Jose is comin’ to town


WE HATE L.A.

(To the tune of "Lola" by the Kinks)

The Kings come from southern Califor-ni-a
Their players wear purple & black training bras
We sing oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya

We're not dumb, but we can't understand
Why they skate like women but look like men
We sing oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya

Oh ya, we hate L.A. oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya

Oh ya, we hate L.A. oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya

They ask the Predators if they'd like to dance
Our team kicks their tails, they start pooping their pants
We sing oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya

Well the Kings aren't the world's most physical guys
And when the Preds hit 'em hard it nearly broke their spines
We sing oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya

Oh ya, We hate L.A. oh ya
We hate L.A. oh ya
(repeat)

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