Jokes Plus

Q: What do Jaromir Jagr and the Calgary Flames have in common?
A: Equal annual salaries.

Q: Why was there a time out in the leper hockey game?
A: Because there was a face off in the corner.

Q: What's the difference between a hockey game and a prize fight?
A: In a hockey game, the fights are real.

Q: Why won't the NHL let Hamilton, Ontario have a hockey franchise?
A: Because then Toronto would want one too.

Q: How do you prevent an Atlanta Thrashers player from robbing your home?
A: Put a net in front of it.

Q: How do you make Brett Hull tear down a house all by himself?
A: You say, "Hey, isn't that Mike Keenan's home?"

Q: What did Brendan Shanahan say to Craig Janney right before their first fight?
A: "Hey, how's your wife and my kids?

Q: How do you get European skaters into the corners?
A: Start a fight at center ice!

Q: How many Thrashers players does it take to change the red light bulb behind the opposing goalie?
A: It was burned out?

Q: Why is Sergie Federov like a TV set?
A: A three-year-old could turn him on.

Q: What's the difference between three Black Hawk's players in a BMW and a porcupine?
A: The porcupine has all of its' pricks on the outside.

Q: Why does Ian LaPerriere smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate him too.

Q: What's the difference between God and Mike Keenan?
A: God knows He's not Mike Keenan.

Q: How can you tell if Mike Keenan is dead?
A: Who cares?

Q: Why can't the Atlanta Thrashers surf the web?
A: Because they can't put three W's together!

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Mike Richter?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason!

Q: What do the Atlanta Thrashers and a gray whale have in common?
A: They both get confused when surrounded by ice.

Q: What's the difference between Kirk Maltby and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito quits sucking when you bash its' head in.

Q: How do you torture someone with a pierced tongue?
A: Force them to pronounce the names "Tkachuk," "Khabibulin," and "Czerkawski."

Q: How many Atlanta Thrashers does it take to change a flat?
A: Just one, unless it's a blow out, and then the whole team shows up.

Q: What's the difference between the Minnesota Wild and a cigarette machine?
A: A cigarette machine generally has Players.

Q: Why is a bra better than the Calgary Flames?
A: A bra has at least two cups.

Q: How do you kiss a hockey player?
A: Pucker up

Q: What do you call the area behind the Columbus Blue Jackets' net?
A: the Red Light District.

Q: We've heard the anagram for "Jaromir" Jagr is "Mario Jr." What's the anagram for "Tie Domi?"
A: "Me Idiot"

Q: Why did they invent velcro?
A: The Thrashers were having trouble with buttons, laces and zippers.

Q: How are the Colorado Avalanche and a tea bag the same?
A: They are both good for just one cup!