Vancouver…the Cuonzo Martin of hockey…
They’ve Never Won Anything
We’re going to go through a quick list here:
- Henrik Sedin
- Daniel Sedin
- Markus Naslund
- Trevor Linden
- Pavel Bure
- Roberto Luongo
- Stan Smyl
What do all of these names have in common? If you guessed that this is potentially a list of the greatest players ever to play for the Vancouver Canucks, then you are half right. If you guessed that the players on this list have as many combined championships as David Legwand’s missing tooth, then you’ve hit the nail on the head.
The Canucks have won exactly zero championships since they entered the league in 1970. You wouldn’t know that from talking to their fans though, would you?
In fact, of the 6 Canadian teams, only the current incarnation of the Ottawa Senators and the Vancouver Canucks have never won a Stanley Cup. The Sens at least have an excuse of being a 90′s expansion team.
There’s the old saying telling you to “act like you’ve been there before”. Sorry, Vancouver, but I believe you’re not what they had in mind.
Rhymes With Hoover
There has been much ado made about the Predators’ inability to get out of the first round in the playoffs. However, very little is made of the fact that Vancouver has the same tendency to underperform in the big time.
Did you know that since 1994, the Canucks have not made it past the second round? Not one single time. So the next time a Vancouver fan points out that the Preds haven’t made it out of the first round…ask them about the last time their team made it out of the second. Then ask them how the Preds did that year.
Second loser is still a loser.
(Vomiting Noise)
Vancouver Did Not Invent The Towel
Vancouver fans did not invent the towel.
Vancouver fans did not invent waving items over their heads.
Vancouver fans did not invent waving towels over their heads.
The first incident of “Towel Power” occurred in 1982, exactly 7 years after the Pittsburgh Steelers didn’t invent the towel.
Regardless of whether or not Pittsburgh invented the towel, however, it is widely, widely, widely known that the Terrible Towel came into use in the 1970s. Rally towels existed before the Steelers used them, but one could make a pretty convincing argument that the Steelers brought them into the mainstream.
One thing is for certain – it didn’t start in Vancouver.
