Pregame Smack Talk: Atlanta Thrashers

The "Subtitles Are Hard" edition

Get your damn hands off of Atlanta’s team…

Thrash

America, meet Thrash. Thrash, this is America.

Thrash is a bird that cannot fly. Don’t get me wrong…an actual thrasher can fly. Thrash, however, cannot. He is a giant version of a tiny bird. You know who else is a large version of a tiny bird? Big Bird. You know who’s scared of Big Bird? Nobody – that’s who.

Fans?

Last year, about 400-500 Thrashers fans made it to Nashville in a snowstorm. Say what you will about Atlanta’s fan base – they are dedicated. You can also say this about them, there are only about 400-500 of them.

I mean, it’s understandable that they have such a small fanbase…there are only 5.4 million people in the Atlanta metropolitan area.

It’s also completely understandable that Thrashers fans would not want to go to their games…what with their gorgeous arena and affordable tickets.

Cup Guy

If you’ve never been to a Thrashers game…well, then you’re like the majority of the city of Atlanta. Aside from that, you’ve never witnessed “Cup Guy”. There is a moron that goes to games with an aluminum foil Stanley Cup, which is apparently from the time the Thrashers won the…um…well…uh… Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this guy? Correct me if I’m wrong, but Atlanta has won exactly zero Stanley Cups. Even if you include the Flames, that brings the total up to zero.

Maybe it’s from that playoff game that they won…oh, wait, no…they haven’t done that either.

Perhaps all of Atlanta’s problems stem from “Cup Guy” and his brazen disregard for hockey tradition…or history…or sanity.

Special bonus points of fail…his jersey says “Cup Guy” on it.

Sadly, I have been unable to locate a photo of “Cup Guy”. I did, however, locate his child.

Jerseys. Blech!

Meet the ugliest jersey in the NHL.

I mean, honestly – what is that?

About Patten Fuqua

A Nashville native and graduate of Belmont's journalism school, Patten was recognized by the Nashville Scene in 2010 as one of Nashville's "Best Community Role Models". You can e-mail Patten at Patten@section303.com and follow him on Twitter @smashville.