Pre-Game Smack Talk: Detroit Red Wings
- Updated: March 19, 2011
Modano: Material Girl
“Maybe the league expanded too much too quickly. It created a lot of jobs, but when you look back, there are maybe four or five teams that shouldn’t have been in it.” - Mike Modano, interview with the New York Times, 2004
“Maybe five of the teams shouldn’t be here. Nashville, Carolina, they jumped the gun too soon.” - Mike Modano, interview with Minneapolis Star-Tribune, 2004.
“That wouldn’t pay for my dog’s food for a month.” - Mike Modano, in reference to a $400 per week UHL salary.
Poor Mike Modano. Poor, poor pitiful Mike Modano.
You think Dan Ellis has problems? Mike Modano invented problems.
Mike is so strapped for cash that when forced to choose between supporting his wife and supporting his dog, he sent his wife off to Hugh Hefner to make some money. That was probably a healthy decision, since no one in the family is going to make any money in music or acting.
It must pain him so to come to the city in which he feels that hockey shouldn’t exist…especially after the franchise that he was with for 22 years decided that he himself should no longer exist.
“We won the Cup!”
Is there a bigger doofus on the planet than the Red Wings fan when his or her team is losing?
“You may be beating us 8-0, but who won the Cup?”
Um, the Blackhawks, nimrod.
There’s never a date specified and, generally, this insult is thrown out when the Wings did NOT win the most recent Stanley Cup Final.
Remember, you could have 200 Stanley Cups wins – unless you have replicas of them stacked in front of your goal, they’re not going to affect the outcome of the game. If number of Cups won was equivalent to performance on the ice, the Maple Leafs would be the second best team in the league. The fact of the matter is, the past is just that – the past. If you’re getting your butts kicked in the present, Lord Stanley isn’t going to save you.
The Lions Suck
Word on the street is that all of Detroit’s woes stem from the city trying to divide the number of Red Wings Cup wins by Lions Super Bowl appearances. The subsequent chaos from Detroit attempting to divide by zero has sent the city into an epic spiral from which they are only now beginning to recover.
Chelios is a Sissy, Even in Retirement